The forecast is in: your life is about to change forever this Sunday at Eastern Market. DC Style is Real contributor Joel Church—designer, artist, writer and muse—will offer you a unique opportunity to transform your every weakness and turn it into churning, raging, hyper masculine/feminine endowment.
Joel’s design label, Monumental Threads, will be selling his line of premier DC-inspired apparel at the flea market. The sharp designs and soft cotton will soothe away your hangover and the magic* in each thread will help you find your true love on the cobblestones of 8th Street SE.
You’ll wonder how you managed to clothe your suddenly firm and youthful frame in anything other than one of these exceptionally cool cotton confections.
“After I put on one of Joel’s shirts, my bald spot filled in and I got that promotion I was hoping for. This sweet cotton also cured my psoriasis.” – Joe McKribbs, Capitol Hill
“My Monumental Threads shirt makes it look like I had a breast lift. It’s better than Spanx topped with a Wonderbra!” – Veronica Marz, Dupont
A Monumental Threads shirt will change your life. **
Go to Eastern Market this Sunday or regret it forever.
*Magic shirts available only before 7 a.m. EST. Additional fees may apply.
Written by Marie Francis. Follow her on Twitter.