It happens.  You are out at some fabulous play opening signing autographs late into the night/tapas bar having meaningful conversations of glasses of Ribero/Dan’s Cafe making fun of college students and iterns, and you lose track of time.  But you make the last train home!  Your SmarTrip card fare is negative $0.15, but you know Metro will give you up to $2.00 in the red before you must recharge. 

No longer, friend!  If the above scenario takes place after Metro implements its new policy to require a rider to have sufficient fare on his or her card before exiting the gates AND you don’t have cash to pay the exit fare machine, you’ll be living in the Metro, mon frere. 

And who catches the last train home AND has cash?  Inevitably it has either fallen on the ground in Adams Morgan, been spent on Jumbo Slice in U Street, or spent for smokes in Shaw. 

And as you begin to resign yourself to spending the night curled up by one of the stone benches, your cell phone dies a quick death.  You think of the woman who was locked in a Metro station back in April.  At least she had friend who persistantly called the cops.  Do you have friends like that?

And because no food is allowed in Metro (and because the terrifying rat on those Metro ads will eat whatever sustenance there is), you will be forced to eat whatever you can find in your purse or pockets or man purse to keep yourself alive until the stations open at 7:00 Sunday morning.  Good luck, DC.  Might be time to invest in one of those stylish beeping watches.