I find it much easier to hate bikram instructors than to hate anusara instructors.

For those of you not in the know, bikram is hot yoga, but not just any kind of hot: 110 degrees and 50% humidity.  Into this mix, pour an hour and a half of twenty-six poses, complete exhaustion, and the staccato beat of the instructor’s commands (lookback
fallbackallthewaybackholdholdpushpush…and change).

Anusara yoga, on the other hand, is all about “opening to grace” and “flowing through the pose.”  You know, things that make you feel pretty good about things in general.  The instructors coax you into holding a pose with soothing instructions and stories about their dogs.

But thanks to the beauty of Living Social, sister site to the famous Groupon, I have two different spates of bikram yoga to get through.  Oh, bikram is so great, I’ll feel so alive, I thought.  I’ll be just like those LuluLemon girls, with their serene expressions, yoga mat carriers, and perfect posture.  I’ll be. Just. Like. Them.

Bikram Yoga, Takoma Park.  Class #2:

Then the emotions came.  They say that at the end of a bikram session, flooding emotions are normal and to be expected.  But hearing that from the instructor, perfectly poised while sweating buckets onto his towel, is somehow enraging.  Get out of my head!

By the time I staggered outside, I had almost forgotten how I got there in the first place.

Will I make it to the end of my five-class session?  Will I be able to come back from the brink of bikram?  Will I go on to Capitol Hill Bikram?

Stay tuned.